i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
