apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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