There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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