He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
