I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Randomize
