Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
