I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
