she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
