After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
