My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
