If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
