Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
