i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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