Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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