I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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