So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Those nachos came to me in a dream
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
