he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Congratulations! We have a period
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
