Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
