Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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