didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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