i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dear god my vagina.
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