i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
