All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
