Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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