I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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