I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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