More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
