Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
