i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
