Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
