you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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