I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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