At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
