Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
