I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
