He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
