Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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