You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
