She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
