i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
