I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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