Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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