the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
