Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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