elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
