i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
