You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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