I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
