yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We are two peas in an std pod
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
