Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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