Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
