I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I got chris browned last night
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
