Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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