the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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