sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
