The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Pants are for mortals
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
