I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is it because I queefed?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
