You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
